I guess lately things have been going downhill rapidly with me. I finished college for summer now and yet everything is so bad. between the funeral and my mood anyone would guess someone close to me died. Yeah, I have a pretty short temper lately, everything and anything is really pissing me off....my therapist discharged me because I'm too old for his services but he is recommending me to a discussion group....because I've always been one to discuss my personal life with complete strangers. So I got asked by a group to join them, so like any self respecting singer, I auditioned....then got rejected......then a different group (run by a friend) also asked me to audition....then rejected me. So you see why my title makes sense. Needless to say I won't be singing for a while.
I uploaded a few new songs to Pucchi Project over the last few days. Couple of them are okay but we have yet to put a decent Pucchi Musume single out. I also mixed a few singles for one of my other groups.....sounds much better buh I hate the face that I only get like 3 solo lines each time whereas the leader (who isn't a very good singer) Gives herself most lines. Yeah, that's gratitude for you that. Okay so get this. A group I auditioned for, the leader popped up on MSN today and said the following "we like your voice, sorry you didnt get in. Would you please like our K-pop video" I can think of many reasons to tell them to go to hell but they're also Hanii's friends so I don't wanna say anything out of line. But to hav the nerve to ask me to like their shitty K-pop video after rejecting me....that's the stupidest bloody thing on the face of the Earth. I hate K-pop and I now hate that group. I was tempted to click the dislike button just to spite them but I'm not that kind of person.
I started re-watching Junjou Romantica and it occurs to me that I'm becoming more like Hiro every day. only Hiro is more tsundere than myself. but yeah short fuse, everyone is suddenly a bastard to me and needs to be hurt....really bad. But even so I still like everything else about the world. Take all the useless bastards out of the equation and all is well again. Lately I'm too confused, I want to be left alone but I don't want to be alone.
I used to love singing. And then it became more of a chore. I liked singing Hello pro songs because they were good songs but now I just singing small parts for groups and I'm not even doing that right any more. I can sing a song and feel like I've done really well but I do really bad or if I really do sing it well I only have a small part or the mixer turns me down way too much and I can't be heard.
Please if anyone can think of a unique reason for me to keep singing do tell me. It's all fine you saying "oh but you're so good, you can't quit" but everyone says that so be original.
Ciao for now~
Aqua
Honey please dont be discouraged to keep on singing :( I know what its like to be feel like you arent good enough :'( I get asked to join some groups and it can be very frustrating when you get small parts even though you get told you have a good voice :( It gives you false hope which disappoints me, I dont want to carry on, thinking Im doing well when finally someone tells me Im doing badly, it does make everything worse.
ReplyDeleteDont worry, everyday there will be obstacles to face when it comes to singing. Ive been told I have a good voice, and sometimes I dont believe them, but at the end of the day Im starting to get used to the way that I sing :) And I have been through a lot of crap when it comes to being critisized with my singing. I dont really tell anyone I know at college about me singing online, because before someone did find out and starting commentin on all of my videos telling me I sounded "Like a strangled cat!" I got told I should stop singing because it would do everyone a favour, and when I found out who this was it got very uncomfortable when I was around her. If its just someone online I get over it because I know that this person doesnt know me personally, but this was a person in real life so it did get to me and for some reason my school then found out which made things even awkward. Ive also been known as the quiet girl and it was a shock for some people to know I love singing, Ive been told Im crap but at the end of the day I enjoy it and I continue with it :)
Plese dont give up the singing :) I love it when I see your covers :) Just know that there are people who love you're singing and they'll support and just let the haters get stuffed! They aren't you and they don't sing like you do so they have nothing valid to say xxx